Salesmen and Dogs: A Comparison

So people often ask, What exactly is the difference between a salesman and a dog?  It’s taken some consideration, but I believe I have come up with a chart that helps make this distinction.  See below, and let me know your thoughts? Comments?  Additional insights?

 

 

x      =       exhibits characteristic

―      =       does not exhibit characteristic
 
Salesman
Dog
Hunts to Survive
x
x
Charming when necessary
x
x
Loyal
x
Always glad to see you (pre-sale)
x
x
Always glad to see you (post-sale)
x
Smells its prey’s weakness
x
x
Requires grooming
x
x
Enjoys doing what he’s told
x
Does what he’s told
x
x
Best trained in a crate
x
x
Fits in with the pack
x
The young ones are cute; the old ones droopy
x
x
Cats are onto their tricks
x
Obsessed with fashion
x
Not good with paper work
x
x
Obsessive
x
x
Understands money
Scratches embarassing body parts – self
x
Scratches embarassing body parts – others
x
Means what he says
x
Pouts when he doesn’t get his way
x
x
Loves to play fetch
x
x
Doesn’t reciprocate when playing fetch
x
x
Drives a nice car
x
Chases nice cars
x
x
Learns how to behave through positive reinforcement
x
x
Rebels against punishment
x
x
Happily sniffs alpha dog’s butt
x
x
Been seen playing poker
x
x
Exudes self confidence
x
x
Constantly sheds old dead coat for newer, shinier coat
x
x
Gets along with others
x
x
Sometimes named after saints
x
x
Enjoys children poking and pulling his ears
Tolerates children poking and pulling his ears if it gets him what he wants
x
x
Barks when stressed
x
x
Could be reincarnation of a saint
x
Sometimes fakes being hurt to get his way
x
x
Kind to secretaries
x
Drools when he sees what he wants
x
x
Always scraping for better position amongst peers
x
x
Did well on High School SATs
Talked about nicely by others
x
Wishes he had studied to be a lawyer instead
x
Dreams of chasing something when he sleeps
x
x
Dreams of being chased when he sleeps
x
x
Anxious
x
Wonders if others are watching when he exercises
x
Eats the same food every meal
x
Drinks the same drink every meal
x
Makes for interesting reading
x
x

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